Requisite post..

The thing about inviting you all to my blog is that now I get nice little reminders when I forget to post for days on end. :) Thank you for the kick in the buns.

We spent the better part of lunch discussing names.. whether or not to follow the conventions of our families, or create something totally new. I think that the discussion will have to be tabled for after the gender is determined.. it's too difficult to narrow things down when so much is unknown.

I'm feeling pretty dang good, all told. The nausea has given way to apathy and aversion to food as I mentioned in my last post. The good old standbys are Chobani pineapple flavored 2% greek yogurt, bananas, and sometimes smoothies. These things always sound good. Which is great, because between the yogurt, cereal, and strawberry milk I've been drinking, I seem to be getting a ton of calcium. My doctor suggested that I stop taking the calcium supplement I had begun a year ago, and see if I need it later, since I'm getting so much in my diet. Woo hoo! I'd like to cut my sugar even further back, but right now I just have to go with what tastes good, I think.

It's exciting to talk with family and friends, everyone is so eager to meet this baby! Since I recently went through watching two of my best friends have their first babies, I can completely identify with the feelings of anticipation and delight at the prospect of having a new little one in the family. It's just neat to be the one doing the 'cooking' this time!

My stomach feels... different. It's not the baby proper that is making the bump, I don't think - it feels more like the muscles are firming up and things are moving around in prep for my growing uterus. The websites say that it is now the size of a large grapefruit, with the baby being about the size of a prune. (Now there's an excellent visual..) The idea of having a grapefruit in my belly somewhere is a bit wild. Hopefully soon I'll actually be able to see something. Maybe when Canteloupe season strikes. Let's not talk about Watermelon.

On a more serious note, I had a significant breakdown the other day as a tidal wave of grief hit me regarding the loss of my mother. I was listening to a beautiful Irish song, from the perspective of a child singing about their grandmother and how loving she was, and I simply lost it. It just sort of hit me in the face that these two beings would never ever meet. Two of the most important people that will ever be in my life, and I'm their only connection to one another. I have always said that I would do everything in my power to keep my mom's memory alive when I had my own children. To talk about Grandma Jane as though she were still a living, breathing part of my family. But the fact remains that they will never know her beautiful loving way and patient heart. Stories just aren't enough. It really breaks my heart into pieces, and I'm sure this won't be the last time I grieve in this way.

Adopt, adapt, and improve.


*sigh*

Less Queasy, More Breezy

Thank goodness! The constant queasiness is subsiding! I'm still having food aversions (right now it's anything fried, and spiced meat like kebabs or mediterranean.) That said, I was able to go to Espetus last night for Brazilian Rodizio buffet, so that was a nice surprise. Pineapple always sounds good. Smoothies sound great, though I really haven't had many. Fruit is always appealing, too. At least it seems like once I start eating, I can keep going and get it all down. Eric and I are definitely going to be trying to get out to do things that aren't baby-friendly, to try to squeeze them in before Blinky's arrival. So dinner and a movie was a great start. We also have a bunch of tickets to concerts coming up.


In terms of other symptoms, there really haven't been many changes. Eric calls me his 'supersniffer'. Which sounds more glamorous than it is.. mostly I get the privilege of checking to see whether his t-shirts are clean or dirty before he gets dressed. :) It has mostly been fine, although occasionally I have to cover up my nose or find something more pleasant stat.


I'm still trying to keep my attitude pretty light about the baby. I have a dear friend who was recently pregnant, but lost the baby at 10 weeks. So, even though I might feel like things are going well, and that I'm out of the woods, it really isn't true just yet. So there isn't much planning going on, or thinking about parenting, or any of that bondy stuff. I'm trying to just take it easy and focus on my health and keeping myself under as little stress as possible. Soon I'll get to throw myself into this whole-hog. But for now, still a bit cautious.

We made the big announcement last week after the appointment, and we've gotten nothing but great well-wishes and offers of help. We're so lucky to belong to such amazing families and communities. I have a feeling that we'll barely have to buy anything with all the hand-me-downs!

Altogether feeling great and rockin' it.

Sorry for the lag.. but it was worth the wait!

Today was our first *real* appointment with our new OB, Dr. Shefali Gandhi-List. I LOVE her. She was recommended by two people I trust very highly, and I couldn't be more pleased. Eric and I waited over an hour and 15 minutes to see her, but it was worth the wait.

Voila...



We got to see Blinky, peanut that zie is. We saw the heartbeat (nice and strong at 173 BPM) and she did the first pass to see the size and development. The doctor was very pleased and said that everything looked to be in order. She confirmed my due date of May 16/17, and helped us decide on what course of genetic testing we should pursue. We've decided to go with the amniocentesis at 16 weeks. So, a little while to wait, yet.

Seeing the little heart fluttering was a great relief for me, and helped me feel validated. Yes, I'm having a baby. Yes, all of these symptoms are real. Yes, it is happening. Time to take deep breaths, and continue being good to myself, and getting all of the good stuff I need to keep the baby developing on course.

Eric continues to be pretty vulcan about the whole thing. I'm wondering when it will kick in for him. I had hoped it would be today, but no such luck. Maybe when he's actually holding the child he will finally feel some feelings and shed a tear or two. Until then, I have you, my dear friends and family, to help me process and emote. I'm feeling pretty blessed to have such wonderful, supportive people around me. From helping me carry groceries to sharing a hug at each stage of the game, my friends are really where it's at. Hopefully you'll continue loving me when I'm 8 months along and spouting obscenities every several minutes.

Anyway.. the big news is... we're having a baby. That above is the proof. Blinky Rinker is on the way!

In-between stages

It feels weird to not have anything new to say. I mean, I suppose I could update on all the conditions.. I'm not as tired, had a couple good sickness days, had a couple of really bad sickness days. I had a blood sugar episode on Friday after my massage that left me unable to safely walk or drive for over 45 minutes. That'll teach me to not eat properly! Thankfully I was in really good hands with people who cared about my wellbeing, and they had me nursed back to health and on my way.

Not being hungry (or, more accurately, food not sounding appealing in any way) is a very new experience for me. It feels like a 3 month long stomach flu. Very odd. I have been losing a pound a week, roughly. I have read on the intarwebs that this loss is not surprising nor troubling. That many plus-sized people lose weight in their first trimester for many reasons; extra energy expenditure, loss of appetite, etc. So, I'm considering myself among the lucky, and taking it as it comes.

I have my first appointment on Wednesday. I don't know if she'll be doing a sonogram or not, or whether it'll just be interviews and blood tests. We'll have to see. I'm switching over to Eric's insurance soon, and then I can actually make an appointment to see my actual obstetrician.

See... nothing to see here.. move along, move along.

"I'm tiiiiired.."

Slept another 11 hour night last night. This is becoming less shocking the more times I find myself doing it. Sleep is usually something that comes easily, but at a later time. Usually I can't get to sleep before 11. These days I'm lucky if I make it 'til 9!

The seasickness has totally got me. I absolutely must keep nibbling or I have waves of the queasy. Only once did I think I was going to actually puke, but even that didn't end up happening. Thank goodness - I'm glad I'm not retching every time I feel sick.. I don't think I'd be able to work.

Apparently according to all the websites, Blinky is now the size of a pea, lentil, or other such legume. Apparently the tiredness is totally normal, as is the cramping I feel every so often. Nothing to be alarmed about. I'll mention both to my doctor at our first prenatal appointment next Wednesday. I suppose I have to get on the insurance thing and get transferred over to Eric's plan so that I can see the doctor that I want when it's finally time to see an OB.

Many details, many small inconveniences that will melt away in the long run. But if I didn't talk about the little stuff, there'd be no blog!

I knew better than to ask...

Now it looks like the queasiness is happening more frequently. Yesterday morning and last night around 9:30 were pretty wicked. But thankfully for now it has confined itself to short bouts.

I have never known myself to refuse a Wendy's frosty.. but last night it was just too.. too... well.. frosty. It's funny these cravings and aversions. They're just a mild feeling that something is wrong with whatever the item is. I've always wondered if the cravings were the body knowing *exactly* what nutrients it is missing and forcing you to go after foods that should deliver what it needs. I'm sure research has been done on it.

Ugh.

Queasy this morning for the first time. Still not exactly nauseous... hard to explain the difference. But I've been feeding it.. a banana first thing, and then a handful (well.. a handful if you're a yeti) of trail mix once I got to work. We'll see how that sits.

Well, I knew I'd pay for that comment last night.