New Doc, New Lease on Life

I don't have much time to post at the moment, but didn't want to let too much time go by with so much going on.

Today I met Dr. Schuftan for the first time. I am really impressed! He was extremely personable, wholeheartedly on board for planning for a home birth, and was just generally a joy. He gave me some Midwife resources, which I will follow up with this week as none of the women I've tried to contact have been able to get back to me. Hopefully I'll have some closure on that soon, with a backup doc ready to go and a midwife I trust. At 28 weeks it feels a bit weird not to have my team in place. I also have contracted with Dolphin Doula, an extremely highly recommended team from San Mateo. We went to the Meet The Doulas night a couple weeks ago, and were very impressed. Of course, it's hard to know how they'll be when things go down, but since everyone and their mother seems to think they're the bee's knees, I'll just trust.

This whole thing involves quite a bit of trust. In professionals, in myself, in my body, in medicine, in nature, in Eric. I'm working hard on remaining open to what is, and not clinging to any sense of what I want or need. Sort of extreme realism. So far it has served me well, and I hope to continue in that vein as things get more intense.

The wonderful news is that the antepartum depression seems to have lifted considerably, and I'm feeling much more grounded and happy. If I dwell too long on the hardship and difficulty of what lies ahead (and by ahead I mean parenting, not the birth) I am able to get myself pretty well back down into that funk.. so instead I try to push it aside and concentrate on the hard work of keeping myself healthy and celebrating the positives that I know will come along with this little girl. I'm still not exactly excited, but I'm at least not in a constant state of dread. I guess I should take it, huh?

Body-wise, I'm definitely popping out and full of baby. I've not gained a single pound overall since getting pregnant, which is wacky. Especially since now I know there are at least 5-8 pounds of baby and placenta and amniotic fluid in there now. Eric and I can both see a distinct change in my body - I'm getting back to where I was when we met, which is kind of nice. Well, except for the GIANT BELLY and inflated boobs. I contribute the weight loss/evening out to the fact that I can't really eat a large quantity of anything anymore and tend to graze all day on high-protein, high-fat snacks that are *gasp* good for me! Peanut butter and apples, babybel cheeses, toast and jam with cream cheese, cereals with whole milk, etc. I've renewed my love of fruit, and big doughy carby things aren't quite as alluring. Go baby - making me eat well. Heartburn has been creeping up on me, (and that's no surprise given the constant pressure on my gastric sphincters + hormones) but thankfully I'm *supposed* to be having one Tums a day to help with my calcium, so it all evens out.

I took my final 3 hour glucose test today. It sucked. But it's done now. Apparently there was no reason to take it twice, or so says Dr. S. Ah well.

A practical matter that has been bugging me has been how to best make sure that our needs are well attended after the birth. I know that we're both going to be exhausted, and with no family nearby I fear that we'll be doing it largely alone. I am 100% sure that Grandma and Aunt Sharlotte will be visiting frequently, as well as my Dad and Sandy (who have already begun making plans!), but I am just sort of boggling at how to cover the ins and outs of life in the first several months, especially once Eric returns to work. I can only remember the other times in my life when I've needed such help, and how readily I was cared for by those who love me. I'm sure all I will need to do is ask. I just need to figure out how I'm going to do that without feeling like a mooch.

Signing off from babyland..